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  算一算从八月九号来电以后到今天为止已经整整一个半月了,在这期间我也没有再联系过他,不是不想,而是我努力的痛苦的克制着自己,每一次忍不住想联系他时就在心里告诉自己:算了,人家都不在乎你了,看到我的电话他不再是高兴而是烦心,我又何必再自讨没趣,即使再爱他有再多不舍,我也要迫使自己该放下了,纵然有千般万般不舍。

  这段时间你应该觉得很清静吧!因为不用再想方设法的编借口而为了出来见我了,也不用躲进厕所为了发一条消息给我了,更不用担心我联系不到你想你担心你时突然拨打你电话或发信息给你了,这些一切的一切都是曾经你愿意为我做的一切,你会抓住每一个机会,只要能联系我哪怕听听我的声音,更不会放过一个可以见我的机会,然后我们一起疯狂的爱爱。而现在呢!你一定已经腻了,烦了,厌了,这种生活,所以你沉默了,你冷漠了,你渐渐远离我了,曾经那么温柔生怕我受一点委屈的你开始对我凶了,不再理会我的感激,不再为了我的伤心而着急难过了!我不傻,这一切变化我都看在眼里,曾经我说过:如果有一天,你不再爱我不再想我了,请一定记得对我说。

  就算我会心痛得死去,我也知道该怎么做了,可是你并没有坦白的说,而是用你的冷漠直到让我承受不了自动离开,你是多么的聪明啊,你怎么会说出来落得个变心的罪名,!好吧!我离开,我在苦苦等待不到你的消息时努力的压抑自己,终于我做到了,但是你永远不会知道,这是一种怎样的切肤之痛,生不如死,为了你整个人都变得憔悴不堪,很多时候真的想就这样死去,真的太痛苦太痛苦了,不过最终我还是没有走这条路,因为我还有父母,还有孩子,我不能这么自私,……渐渐的,我活过来了,从死去的思想里活过来了,直到当我想起你时心不会再如刀绞般疼痛,能够坦然面对了,虽然我每天还是依然的想念你…

  上面所讲述的“他”是我曾经的婚外情人,在这里就简称他“辉”!我知道当提到“婚外情人”这四个字时,定会糟到大家的谩骂,因为我曾经也很痛恨这类玩婚外情的人,也曾被老公伤害过。!可就是因为这样,我却有了婚外情,做起了别人的小三。今天把我的故事写下来,是为了给哪些正在出轨或是即将出轨的女同胞们当一个反面教材,我要告诉女性朋友们,婚外情真的不是好玩的,除非你别动真感情,除非你遇到的他是真和别的男人不同(其实男人都一个得性,尤其是会玩婚外恋的男人)。不然就有得咱女人受的!还有一点也是为了祭奠那已经死去的感情,记录下这一段回忆,当我想他时,就来这里看看自己提醒自己!(本文节选自天涯)


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